I am privileged in many, many ways.
Compared to other people, I get away with many things that they could be killed or assaulted for. I haven't had to worry about things that my friends have, nor have I had the experiences that they've had. On the other hand, the same applies right back at many of my friends.
As a writer, I pride myself on listening and learning about other experiences and perspectives. I pride myself on creating realistic characters that reflect the world around me and the people around me.
That means I drop whatever I think I know about a group and any opinions that I may have on subjects close to those experiences.
Because in reality, I don't know much.
When I started writing, all of my characters were white and neurotypical. They were all the same generic people that you'd see in the background of a popular TV show and nothing more. They didn't have substance to them, they didn't have pasts or personalities or experiences that I didn't -- they were all the same. They weren't fully fleshed out characters or real people.
My "characters" were simply hollow shells I used to follow a storyline.
As I grew, I realized that I had more people around me than that. I had people from all walks of life and all kinds of bodies and minds that were so much more interesting than the simple cookie-cutters I'd made.
As someone in a place of privilege writing characters who aren't as privileged, I've had to unlearn a lot of harmful things. Even in the groups I am in, there were many harmful ideas and opinions that I held.
When you enter spaces that aren't meant for you, it can seem as though you're being attacked. It's aggressive, angry, and sharp towards people who aren't within the group. Things you didn't realize were harmful have seeped into wounds, creating a toxic mentality and poisoning those you said it to.
But remember: This is the one space they may have where these people, who are attacked on a constant basis, can vent and truly be understood by the others in their community. Sure, they'll disagree and argue, but as a whole, they understand a part of life that you may never understand or experience.
So put your pride aside. This isn't about you.
As privileged people, it's our job to seek out the accurate information, to unlearn, to relearn, and to use our privilege to amplify marginalized voices. It's our job to support marginalized groups and be the best allies we can be in a world full of unknown enemies.
I will make mistakes while writing. Inevitably, I will do something racist, ableist, sexist, homophobic -- being in these groups does not give me a free pass. However, I'll accept that I made a mistake and learn from it, correct it, and reach out to others to learn more about that issue.
Writing from a place or privilege means I have to set aside my own feelings and preconceived notions of what something might mean. It means I reach out to the people in these groups and am willing to completely drop a book if it's based in something offensive.
It means treating others with respect and doing your research.
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