Consent: Implicit vs Explicit

In a world where human rights are hotly debated, it's important to know the difference between what is and isn't consent.

The definition of consent, according to the Webster Dictionary, is "to give assent or approval" and "to be in concord in opinion or sentiment."

Sounds pretty clear, no?

Well, according to many romance writers and readers, explicit consent isn't what they're looking for. Many believe it takes away from the overall experience when reading romance or partaking in it.

Others argue that implicit consent is misleading and can lead to sexual assault or forcing a character into a situation that they aren't comfortable with. In many cases, popular media such as manga or soap operas show characters being kissed despite their protests. They are frequently forced into sexual situations and start enjoying it once they've begun.

So, what is explicit and implicit consent?

Explicit consent is when a character(s) verbally agrees to something. For example, in a romance novel, you frequently see the male lead kiss the female lead without asking her permission. There is no consent offered in this case.

An example of explicit consent would be if the main love interest said they wanted to kiss the main character and/or (insert romantic acts here). Done well, this can be romantic and an example of a relationship with healthy boundaries. Done badly and you can end up with one character assaulting another.

Implicit consent is when the characters don't verbally agree to something, but rely on body language and facial cues. This can be dangerous as "clues" and "hints" can easily be misinterpreted. However, if your characters know each other very well, it can work because they know what is and isn't acceptable.

What is not an example of consent is when the main character (typically a woman) tells the love interest "no", then gets kissed anyway. That is not consent. Consent needs to be given and the other character must be able to take no for an answer.

Consent can be taken away at any time. If a character becomes uncomfortable, they may take away consent and tell the other to stop. The other character should respect their boundaries and stop if you wish to show a healthy relationship.

You can still make explicit consent romantic or steamy, whichever you prefer. I would recommend checking out Franklin Veaux's websites for more information: https://www.quora.com/profile/Franklin-Veaux and http://t.co/sSnnP8IrQC .

Part of this debate comes from many toxic ideas that stem from sexist traditions. Marriage used to be a business deal, not a love-based romance. Women were not treated as humans, they were treated like baby-makers and house-cleaners, which still persists to this day.

It is incredibly important that you put consent into your story, implicit or explicit. The media that people read directly impacts their lives and healthy relationships are something that can always be improved upon.

Safety is more important than romance.

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